Caught in the wrong job

Past few days have been very enthralling. There was the IPL (Indian paisa league), there were numerous marriages(boys sentenced for life), then there was the great indian festival of democracy- the elections and offcourse never to be missed out, the news channels with coverage that would embarrass the best of thrillers. Amidst all this festivity I caught few people who were trying their luck somewhere out of their realm. After a lot of consideration and working my brains for hours, I have come up with alternate jobs for them, which I think suit them the best. Then, here we go..............and yes, if you can get to one of them do suggest the wonderful opportunity in the hard period of recession.

Shahrukh Khan - why him..... whats wrong with his job? He's earning huge sums, acts well,     is a brand in himself and owns the KKR. Thats all very fine but the man bit the dust with IPL. His ambitious dive in the ocean of cricket    ....oooopppps.... turned out to be a fiasco.The men in black and golden jerseys are surrendering one match after another. No silver lining only the dark clouds. Whats the fault of the poor Mr.Khan if the team is not performing, why should he suffer.Afterall he's the man, the innovator who came up with the most exciting innovation of our time, "The Multi-Captain theory". Don't get disheartened Mr.Khan, I have a person who offlate has been working on a similar theory and very much like you, has not witnessed success. So here is an opportunity for both of you to come together and work together. May be his expertise may help you and yours him. Mr.khan take my advice and meet Mr.Prakash Karat at the earliest.

Mr.Karat has been working on on the multi-captain theory in the political arena for quite some time now. There are so many captions in the so called Third front that he is getting nightmares in deciding the official one. Mr.Khan having applied the same theory on players from different continents will come in handy for Mr.Karat to deal with the situation. May be we can hope to see ten Prime ministers in term of five years or may be twelve or may be more...............real good innovation haaa.  

Mandira bedi- It was the second match in the IPL, B'lore RC scored some 130 odd in the first eannings and Mandiraji was out there in conversation with Gaurav, another person from the world of glamour ( but with far better cricketing knowledge than Mandira Bedi). Now came the best point of the chat (or the worst...... rests on you to decide), the lady said, "the score is far from sufficient, a good score would have been somewhere about 265-270".The lady has huge expectations...... they are batsmen not Supermans.  I know its not shocking, it has been the same story of abysmal cricketing judgement from the lady since the 2003 world cup. But this may not go a long way and people may start demanding a anchor with atleast some idea about the willow and the ball. So I came up with an alternative job for her. No doubt lady you still look pretty and catch many eyeballs during the matches(thats the reason they have you), and you love cricket (atleast thats what you claim) but the biggest hitch is that you are poor with cricketing judgement and there are no signs of improvements. Then what..... don't worry I have a mid way job for you, there's a huge demand for hot and sexy cheer leaders during the IPL and the ICL and now the APL, and darling you still look hot and stunning. So you get your job and will stay close to your  beloved game. .... miracle of an idea, thank me for that.

"behen" Mayawati- I m not here to raise the ubiquitous slogan, "behenji for PM". If she takes the post of PM in the coming future, I'll be put behind the bars for this post, so I will not appeal for her but will suggest her a job as I have been doing it for others. 

With the below average voter turnout and above average apathy of the people and their growing disenchantment with the whole political system of the nation I don find great scope for the Mayawati ji in indian politics. So again I thought of it and came up with a lucarative job that she can take up in the time of crisis. Ok, tell me when was the last time you saw behenji addressing a rally or press by her own, I mean not reading from a peice of pre written material. Not work your brains, you will not find any such incident. So, there lies her skill...... I find her very similar to the newsreaders of eighties and early nineties ( remember "namskar doordarshan ki pradeshik prasharan seva....". Since the people still find Manna Dey and K.L Shegal to be ear pleasing therefore I find a great scope for her as a newsreader ( and she can even bring the masala touch heard her "mannaniye Mulayam Singh kahta hai....").

Besides all this she can take a part time job of clearing all doubts of people ( especially brahmins) regarding their jatis and Gotras and rashis and kundlis. This I can say because she has a doctorate in caste politics and awards tickets after considering lot of caste equations. May be she can get some Aishwarya out of her Manglik problems....